Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday February 23, 2022

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing...
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. -- Laurence J. Peter, "Peter's Principles"

A bad little girl in Madrid, A most reprehensible kid, ...
A bad little girl in Madrid, A most reprehensible kid, Told her Tante Louise That her cunt smelled like cheese, And the worst of it was that it did!

A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left...
A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left her quite nude, Saw a man come along And, unless I am wrong, You expected this line to be lewd.

A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm...
A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm a tree." But another, more sane, Shouted, "I'm a Great Dane!" And covered his pants leg with pee.

A beautiful belle of Del Norte Is reckoned disdainful...
A beautiful belle of Del Norte Is reckoned disdainful and haughty Because during the day She says: "Boys, keep away!" But she fucks in the gloaming like forty.

A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room...
A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They argued all night Over who had the right To do what, with which, and to whom.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in...
There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in his cave. She was ugly as shit, And missing one tit, But think of the money he saves.

There was a young fellow of Kent Whose prick was so long that...
There was a young fellow of Kent Whose prick was so long that it bent, So to save himself trouble He put it in double, And instead of coming he went.

job interview, n.: The excruciating process during...
job interview, n.: The excruciating process during which personnel officers separate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff.

I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When...
I was eatin' some chop suey, With a lady in St. Louie, When there sudden comes a knockin' at the door. And that knocker, he says, "Honey, Roll this rocker out some money, Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor." -- Mr. Miggle