Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday September 26, 2022

A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm...
A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm a tree." But another, more sane, Shouted, "I'm a Great Dane!" And covered his pants leg with pee.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned...
There was a young lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned their necks at her. One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There was a young man of Lahore Whose prick was one inch and...
There was a young man of Lahore Whose prick was one inch and no more. It was all right for key-holes And little girl's pee-holes, But not worth a damn with a whore.

What is the difference between a Turing machine and the modern...
What is the difference between a Turing machine and the modern computer? It's the same as that between Hillary's ascent of Everest and the establishment of a Hilton on its peak.