Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 27, 2006

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of...
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

A pretty foot is one of the greatest gifts of nature... please...
A pretty foot is one of the greatest gifts of nature... please send me your last pair of shoes, already worn out in dancing... so I can have something of yours to press against my heart. -- Goethe

Man is a military animal, Glories in gunpowder, and loves...
Man is a military animal, Glories in gunpowder, and loves parade. -- P.J. Bailey

The eyes of Texas are upon you, All the livelong day; The eyes...
The eyes of Texas are upon you, All the livelong day; The eyes of Texas are upon you, You cannot get away; Do not think you can escape them From night 'til early in the morn; The eyes of Texas are upon you 'Til Gabriel blows his horn. --...

You can not get anything worthwhile done without raising...
You can not get anything worthwhile done without raising a sweat. -- The First Law Of Thermodynamics What ever you want is going to cost a little more than it is worth. -- The Second Law Of Thermodynamics You can not...

What to do in case of an alien attack: 1) Hide beneath...
What to do in case of an alien attack: 1) Hide beneath the seat of your plane and look away. 2) Avoid eye contact. 3) If there are no eyes, avoid all contact. -- The Firesign Theatre, _Everything you know is Wrong_

Life is like a simile.
Life is like a simile.

We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies...
We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one technical problem -- how to run a sunbeam through a meter.

What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind...
What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. -- Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875

Lighten up, while you still can, Don't even try...
Lighten up, while you still can, Don't even try to understand, Just find a place to make your stand, And take it easy. -- The Eagles, "Take It Easy"