Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday November 28, 2006

He jests at scars who never felt a wound. --...
He jests at scars who never felt a wound. -- Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet, II. 2"

There are running jobs. Why don't you go chase them?
There are running jobs. Why don't you go chase them?

TV is chewing gum for the eyes. -- Frank Lloyd...
TV is chewing gum for the eyes. -- Frank Lloyd Wright

It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty...
It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty for the cat.

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor...
"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception." -- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989

Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's...
Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's 2 cents for postage and 30 cents for storage. -- Gerald Regan, Cabinet Minister, 12/31/83 Financial Post

The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble...
The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble. -- Thomas Carlyle

They use different words for things in America. For instance...
They use different words for things in America. For instance they say elevator and we say lift. They say drapes and we say curtains. They say president and we say brain damaged git. -- Alexie Sayle

Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate...
Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters. -- Frederick Douglass