Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday July 29, 2006

Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.

This fortune is inoperative. Please try another.
This fortune is inoperative. Please try another.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying...
Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.

...
======================================================================= || || || The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture! || || Watch for it at a theater...

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: ...
TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires...

It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either...
It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either. -- Kevin White, Mayor of Boston

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too...
It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too. -- Alexander Korda

Flattery will get you everywhere.
Flattery will get you everywhere.

This land is my land, and only my land, I've got a shotgun,...
This land is my land, and only my land, I've got a shotgun, and you ain't got one, If you don't get off, I'll blow your head off, This land is private property. -- Apologies to Woody Guthrie

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic...
A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved. -- R.A. Heinlein