Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday July 3, 2006

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations ...
Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at...

Iowans ask why Minnesotans don't drink more Kool-Aid. That's...
Iowans ask why Minnesotans don't drink more Kool-Aid. That's because they can't figure out how to get two quarts of water into one of those little paper envelopes.

Cheese -- milk's leap toward immortality. --...
Cheese -- milk's leap toward immortality. -- Clifton Fadiman, "Any Number Can Play"

The story of the butterfly: "I was in Bogota...
The story of the butterfly: "I was in Bogota and waiting for a lady friend. I was in love, a long time ago. I waited three days. I was hungry but could not go out for food, lest she come and I not be there to greet her. Then, on...

Take what you can use and let the rest go by...
Take what you can use and let the rest go by. -- Ken Kesey

A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons...
A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons to the bartender. "Hey, bartender, gimme a whiskey." The bartender ignores him. "Hey bartender, gimme a whiskey!" Still ignored. "HEY...

I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!
I was making donuts and now I'm on a bus!