Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday May 26, 2013

There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip...
There was a young man from Peru, Who took a long trip by canoe. While staring at Venus, And rubbing his penis, He wound up with a handful of goo.

Why I Can't Go Out With You: I'd LOVE to, but... --...
Why I Can't Go Out With You: I'd LOVE to, but... -- I have to floss my cat. -- I've dedicated my life to linguini. -- I need to spend more time with my blender. -- It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People...

You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.
You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.