Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday September 18, 2017

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints...
A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints in their niches stir And each morning at matin Her breast in pink satin Made the bishop of Chichester's breeches stir.

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole -- Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.

The limerick, a verse form iniquitous, Has nonetheless been...
The limerick, a verse form iniquitous, Has nonetheless been ubiquitous. Once Congress in session, Declared its suppression, But people got around that by writing the last line with no rhyme or meter.

There was an old lady of Glascow, Whose party proved quite...
There was an old lady of Glascow, Whose party proved quite a fiasco. At nine-thirty, about, The lights all went out, Through a lapse on the part of the Gas Co.