Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday September 30, 2017

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Within a computer, natural language is unnatural.
Within a computer, natural language is unnatural.

A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed...
A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. With his date all strapped in He committed a sin Without even leaving the garage. -- "A Boy and His Dog"

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk...
A fellatrix's healthful condition Proved the value of spunk as nutrition. Her remarkable diet (I suggest that you try it) Was only her clients' emission.

There was a young lad name of Durcan Who was always jerkin'...
There was a young lad name of Durcan Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. His father said, "Durcan! Stop jerkin' your gherkin! Your gherkin's for ferkin', not jerkin'.

There was a young lady from Rio Who slept with the Fornier...
There was a young lady from Rio Who slept with the Fornier trio. As she dropped her panties She said, "No andanties I want this allegro con brio."

There was a young man from Dundee Who buggered an ape in...
There was a young man from Dundee Who buggered an ape in a tree. The results were quite horrid: All ass and no forehead, Three balls and a purple goatee.

When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER...
When you get your PH.D. will you get able to work at BURGER KING?

While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S bank account...
While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S bank account ... his will have the same effect as two "STARCH BLOCKERS"!

Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people...
Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.