Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday September 12, 2017

"What I've done, of course, is total garbage." ...
"What I've done, of course, is total garbage." -- R. Willard, Pure Math 430a

"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING...
"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?" -- Bertold Brecht

"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will...
"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite." -- Bertrand Russell, "Skeptical_Essays", 1928

What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's...
What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.

What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.

What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young fellow from Florida Who liked a friend's...
There was a young fellow from Florida Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her. When they got into bed He cried, "God strike me dead! This ain't a cunt -- it's a corridor!"

There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady...
There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady to dinner At a quarter to nine, They sat down to dine, At twenty to ten it was in her. The dinner, not Skinner -- Skinner was in her before dinner. There was a young fellow...

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"