Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday December 4, 2013

Keep Cool, but Don't Freeze - Hellman's...
Keep Cool, but Don't Freeze - Hellman's Mayonnaise

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

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This file will self-destruct in five minutes.

For a young man, not yet: for an old man, never at all...
For a young man, not yet: for an old man, never at all. -- Diogenes, asked when a man should marry When should a man marry? A young man, not yet; an elder man, not at all. -- Sir Francis Bacon, "Of Marriage...