Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday December 7, 2013

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a yokel of Beaconsfield Engaged to look after...
There once was a yokel of Beaconsfield Engaged to look after the deacon's field, But he lurked in the ditches And diddled the bitches Who happened to cross that antique 'un's field.

If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year...
If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn 365 useless things.

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, It is slick...
If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. Or some joker who is slicker, Will trick you of your liquor, If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.