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The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use
in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the
Declaration not for that, but for future use.
-- Abraham Lincoln
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2702 of 3566|
The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2703 of 3566|
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2704 of 3566|
"The bad reputation UNIX has gotten is totally undeserved, laid on by
people who don't understand, who have not gotten in there and tried
-- Jim Joyce, owner of Jim Joyce's UNIX Bookstore
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2705 of 3566|
The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than
cities. Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and
difficult to park in. Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots,
which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but --
here is the big difference -- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO
RULES. You're allowed to do anything. You can drive as fast as you
want in any direction you want. I was once driving in a mall parking
lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a
squat man with a tattoo that said "Charlie" on his forearm, who got out
and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault,
his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was
neither. This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall parking
-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2706 of 3566|
The basic menu item, in fact the ONLY menu item, would be a food unit
called the "patty," consisting of -- this would be guaranteed in
writing -- "100 percent animal matter of some kind." All patties would
be heated up and then cooled back down in electronic devices
immediately before serving. The Breakfast Patty would be a patty on a
bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, egg, Ba-Ko-Bits, Cheez Whiz, a Special
Sauce made by pouring ketchup out of a bottle and a little slip of
paper stating: "Inspected by Number 12". The Lunch or Dinner Patty
would be any Breakfast Patties that didn't get sold in the morning.
The Seafood Lover's Patty would be any patties that were starting to
emit a serious aroma. Patties that were too rank even to be Seafood
Lover's Patties would be compressed into wads and sold as "Nuggets."
-- Dave Barry, "'Mister Mediocre' Restaurants"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2707 of 3566|
The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland";
but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2708 of 3566|
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-- W. C. Fields
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2709 of 3566|
The best defense against logic is ignorance.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.