Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday January 4, 2017

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped,...
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.

You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.
You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.