Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday January 14, 2017

A man said to the Universe: "Sir,...
A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation." -- Stephen Crane

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into...
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.

Microsoft Fortune v1.1 (c) 1901-1998 by Microsoft, Corp.,...
Microsoft Fortune v1.1 (c) 1901-1998 by Microsoft, Corp., Redmond, USA FORTUNE caused a general protection fault in module FORTUNE at 0123:4567. Press [ OK ] to reboot.

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light...
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: What do you call 50 Microsoft products in a trashcan? A:...
Q: What do you call 50 Microsoft products in a trashcan? A: A darned good start.