Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday January 16, 2017

Proof techniques \#2: Proof by Oddity. SAMPLE: To prove...
Proof techniques \#2: Proof by Oddity. SAMPLE: To prove that horses have an infinite number of legs. (1) Horses have an even number of legs. (2) They have two legs in back and fore legs in front. (3) This makes a total of six legs, which...

A greedy young lady from Sidney Liked it in up to her kidney, ...
A greedy young lady from Sidney Liked it in up to her kidney, Till a man from Quebec Shoved it up to her neck-- He really diddled her, didn' he?

There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs...
There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs of sex. Arraigned for exposure, He maintained with composure, "De minimis non curat lex." [Trans: the law does not concern itself with small things. Ed.]

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back And tickled her crack And pissed all over the ceiling.

There was a young lady named Smith Whose virtue was largely...
There was a young lady named Smith Whose virtue was largely a myth. She said, "Try as I can I can't find a man Who it's fun to be virtuous with."

There was an old hermit named Dave Who kept a dead whore in...
There was an old hermit named Dave Who kept a dead whore in his cave. He said "I'll admit I'm a bit of a shit, But look at the money I save."

You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.