Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday January 30, 2017

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing...
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. -- Wernher von Braun

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned...
Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA. The remainder is thrown out. Republicans usually...

Denver, n: A smallish city located just below the `O'...
Denver, n: A smallish city located just below the `O' in Colorado.

Der Horizont vieler Menschen ist ein Kreis mit Radius Null...
Der Horizont vieler Menschen ist ein Kreis mit Radius Null - und das nennen sie ihren Standpunkt.

A bobby of Nottingham Junction Whose organ had long ceased...
A bobby of Nottingham Junction Whose organ had long ceased to function Deceived his good wife For the rest of her life With the aid of his constable's truncheon.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young girl in Dakota Had a letter from Ickes;...
There was a young girl in Dakota Had a letter from Ickes; he wrote her: "In addition to gas We are rationing ass, And you've greatly exceeded your quota."

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!