Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday August 21, 2024

A lady from Kalamazoo Once found she had nothing to do, ...
A lady from Kalamazoo Once found she had nothing to do, So she sat on the stairs And she counted her hairs: 4,302.

A lecherous barkeep named Dale, After fucking his favorite...
A lecherous barkeep named Dale, After fucking his favorite female, Mixed Drambuie and scotch With the cream in her crotch For a lustier, Rusty-er Nail.

A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, ...
A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, And the square of its weight Times his pecker's, plus eight, Was four-fifths of five-eighths of fuck-all.

A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse...
A mortician who practised in Fife Made love to the corpse of his wife. "How could I know, Judge? She was cold, did not budge-- Just the same as she'd acted in life."

A newlywed couple from Goshen Spent their honeymoon sailing...
A newlywed couple from Goshen Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. In twenty-eight days They got laid eighty ways -- Imagine such fucking devotion!

A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men...
A notorious whore named Ms. Hearst, In the pleasures of men was well-versed. Reads the sign o'er the head Of her well-rumpled bed "The customer always comes first."

A savvy young hooker named Gail Got busted and lodged in...
A savvy young hooker named Gail Got busted and lodged in the jail. But the jailer got hot, To be lodged in her twat, And so Gail made the bail with her tail.