Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday December 26, 2006

A bunch of the boys were whooping it in the Malemute...
A bunch of the boys were whooping it in the Malemute saloon; The kid that handles the music box was hitting a jag-time tune; Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McGrew, And watching his luck was his light-o'-love, the lady that's known...

Electrocution, n: Burning at the stake with all...
Electrocution, n: Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus,...
One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners...

There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much...
There was a young lady named Bright Who could travel much faster than light. She took off one day, In a relative way, And returned on the previous night.

It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More...
It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More money. -- Tom T. Hall, "The Secret of Life"

Spock: The odds of surviving another attack are 13562190123...
Spock: The odds of surviving another attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.