Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday December 31, 2006

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall, Aleph-null bottles...
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall, Aleph-null bottles of beer, You take one down, and pass it around, Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.

No violence, gentlemen -- no violence, I beg of you! Consider...
No violence, gentlemen -- no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture! -- Sherlock Holmes

Rules for Good Grammar #4. (1) Don't use no double...
Rules for Good Grammar #4. (1) Don't use no double negatives. (2) Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents. (3) Join clauses good, like a conjunction should. (4) About them sentence fragments. (5) When...

Please, Mother! I'd rather do it myself!
Please, Mother! I'd rather do it myself!

The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that...
The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God. -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met. All tenderly...
A single flow'r he sent me, since we met. All tenderly his messenger he chose; Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet-- One perfect rose. I knew the language of the floweret; "My fragile leaves," it said, "his heart...