Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday January 28, 2007

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's...
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. -- Charles Schultz

May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on...
May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door.

Women sometimes forgive a man who forces the opportunity,...
Women sometimes forgive a man who forces the opportunity, but never a man who misses one. -- Charles De Talleyrand-Perigord

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican.

All things come to him whose name is on a mailing list.
All things come to him whose name is on a mailing list.

He who dies with the most toys wins.
He who dies with the most toys wins.

If you can't measure it, I'm not interested.
If you can't measure it, I'm not interested.

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.
It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with...
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

This space for rent.
This space for rent.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism...
The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism. -- Dorothy Parker

It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More...
It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More money. -- Tom T. Hall, "The Secret of Life"