Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday September 16, 2012

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn...
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. -- Garrison Keillor

Don't fight with a bear in his own cage.
Don't fight with a bear in his own cage.

Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.
Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

There are certain things men must do to remain men...
There are certain things men must do to remain men. -- Kirk, "The Ultimate Computer", stardate 4929.4

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" 1st customer:...
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" 1st customer: "I'll have tea." 2nd customer: "Me, too -- and be sure the glass is clean!" (Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"

Why do so many foods come packaged in plastic? It's quite...
Why do so many foods come packaged in plastic? It's quite uncanny.

Your mind is the part of you that says, ...
Your mind is the part of you that says, "Why'n'tcha eat that piece of cake?" ... and then, twenty minutes later, says, "Y'know, if I were you, I wouldn't have done that!" -- Steven and Ondrea Levine

Such a fine first dream! But they laughed at me; they said...
Such a fine first dream! But they laughed at me; they said I had made it up.

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...