Freebsd Fortunes

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George, smothered under a rug, H is for Hector, done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in the lake, J is for James who took lye, by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe, L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Nevil who died of enui.
O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits.
U is for Una  who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
W is for Winie, embedded in ice, X is for Xercies, devoured by mice.
Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin.
                -- Edward Gorey "The Gastly Crumb Tines"

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

A jury consists of 12 persons chosen to decide
who has the better lawyer.
                -- Robert Frost

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.

A lady with one of her ears applied
To an open keyhole heard, inside,
Two female gossips in converse free --
The subject engaging them was she.
"I think", said one, "and my husband thinks
That she's a prying, inquisitive minx!"
As soon as no more of it she could hear
The lady, indignant, removed her ear.
"I will not stay," she said with a pout,
"To hear my character lied about!"
                -- Gopete Sherany

A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is
not worth knowing.

A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program
in than some that do.
                -- Dennis M. Ritchie

A large number of installed systems work by fiat.  That is, they work
by being declared to work.
                -- Anatol Holt

A Law of Computer Programming:
        Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you
will find the programmers cannot write in English.

A limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
        But the good ones I've seen
        So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.