Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday October 13, 2006

A gifted young fellow from Sparta Was widely renowned as...
A gifted young fellow from Sparta Was widely renowned as a farta'. He could fart anything From "Of Thee I Sing," To Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata."

He who dies with the most toys wins.
He who dies with the most toys wins.

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine. --...
Age before beauty; and pearls before swine. -- Dorothy Parker

There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with...
There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.

Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth...
Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and austere, like that of a sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trapping of painting or music, yet sublimely pure,...

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would...
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would scarcely get your Feet wet. Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your face. -- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"

Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!! A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed with...
Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!! A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed with the shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!! ... Oh BOY!! I'm about to swallow a TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and SUGAR!! ... Let's see ... Next, I'll have...