Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday October 31, 2006

A help wanted add for a photo journalist asked the rhetorical...
A help wanted add for a photo journalist asked the rhetorical question: If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed...

A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and B is for biff, which...
A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and B is for biff, which reads all your mail. C is for cc, as hackers recall, while D is for dd, the command that does all. E is for emacs, which rebinds your keys, and F is for fsck, which rebuilds your trees. G...

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.

An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff...
An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff. -- Adlai Stevenson

The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to...
The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventive...

Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.

He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage --...
He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage -- he won't encounter many rivals. -- Georg Lichtenberg, "Aphorisms"

Step back, unbelievers! Or the rain will never come. Somebody...
Step back, unbelievers! Or the rain will never come. Somebody keep the fire burning, someone come and beat the drum. You may think I'm crazy, you may think that I'm insane, But I swear to you, before this day is out, you folks are gonna see some...

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle...
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. -- Gloria Steinem

A woman without a man is like a fish without...
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. Therefore, a man without a woman is like a bicycle without a fish.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second...
The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill. -- Robert Heller