Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday October 21, 2006

"Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted...
"Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly."

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to...
Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they will find an easier way to do it.

The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can't...
The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can't just say it's pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have to go around largely naked, because,...

Have you ever met a man of good character where women...
Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned? Well, I haven't. I find that whenever a woman becomes friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damn nuisance; and whenever I become friends with a woman,...

Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things...
Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. -- Zaphod Beeblebrox

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Everybody rolls with...
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed. Everybody knows the war is over. Everybody knows the good guys lost. Everybody knows the fight was fixed: the poor stay poor, the rich get rich. That's how...

What's love but a second-hand emotion? -- Tina...
What's love but a second-hand emotion? -- Tina Turner

I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heavan.
I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heavan.