Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday August 17, 2006

Children are natural mimic who act like their parents despite...
Children are natural mimic who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency...
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. -- Franklin P. Jones

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income...
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. -- Albert Einstein

"Engineering meets art in the parking lot and things...
"Engineering meets art in the parking lot and things explode." -- Garry Peterson, about Survival Research Labs

God requireth not a uniformity of religion. - Roger Williams
God requireth not a uniformity of religion. - Roger Williams

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church,...
I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. - Thomas Paine

I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature. -...
I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature. - Thomas Jefferson

It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe...
It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon insufficient evidence. - W. K. Clifford, British philosopher, circa 1876

Let us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and...
Let us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us restore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which liberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect that having banished from our land...

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way...
Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life. -- Dave Butler

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by...
The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason...

A career is great, but you can't run your fingers through...
A career is great, but you can't run your fingers through its hair.

A bore is a man who talks so much about himself that you can't...
A bore is a man who talks so much about himself that you can't talk about yourself.

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after...
A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.