Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday August 29, 2006

We don't know who discovered water, but we're certain it wasn't...
We don't know who discovered water, but we're certain it wasn't a fish.

A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to...
A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea. -- John Ciardi

A grammarian's life is always in tense.
A grammarian's life is always in tense.

A pencil with no point needs no eraser.
A pencil with no point needs no eraser.

A student who changes the course of history is probably taking...
A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word...
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. -- Burt Bacharach

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest...
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. -- Benjamin Franklin

Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and,...
Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when they grow up, they won't be able to edge a car onto a freeway.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?

The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)
The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)

I get up each morning, gather my wits. Pick up the paper, read...
I get up each morning, gather my wits. Pick up the paper, read the obits. If I'm not there I know I'm not dead. So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed. Oh, how do I know my youth is all spent? My get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went. But in spite...