Freebsd Fortunes

For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire
life to date.  He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days
now.  He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets
when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch
in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have
the strength to object.  He has been foraging for his own food, which
means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are
advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are
the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their
names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot
("part of this complete breakfast").
                -- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"

For perfect happiness, remember two things:
        (1) Be content with what you've got.
        (2) Be sure you've got plenty.

For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say
"Canada".  Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.
                -- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to
                   the U.S.

For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.

"For that matter, compare your pocket computer with the massive jobs of
a thousand years ago.  Why not, then, the last step of doing away with
computers altogether?"
                -- Jehan Shuman

For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they
like.
                -- Abraham Lincoln

"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but
phone calls taper off."
                -- Johnny Carson

For what it's worth, if you -can- get Michelle Pfeiffer to model
a latex daemon suit for the catalog, I strongly suggest you do.
Breasts can sell anything. Shiny red latex body suits start
religions.

                -- Brian McGroarty <bvmcg@yahoo.com>

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace --
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
                -- Justin Richardson.

For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!