Freebsd Fortunes
fortune: 3281 - 3290 of 3566 from freebsd fortunes
Motd - Message of the Day
Humor, Quotes, Proverbs, Aphorisms...
Daily Fortunes Feed Subscribe - Daily Fortunes - motd.ambians.com
Daily fortunes for your site
Dec 4, 2024
Motd Home     Daily Fortunes     Best of Fortunes     Worst of Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 3281 - 3290 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  3281 of 3566

What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower
stall.  Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed
barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character
from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of
while he showers.  Then I hop right back into the stall because our
dog, Earnest, who has been alone in the basement all night building up
powerful dog emotions, has come bounding and quivering into the
bathroom and wants to greet me with 60 or 70 thousand playful nips, any
one of which -- bear in mind that I am naked and, without my contact
lenses, essentially blind -- could result in the kind of injury where
you have to learn a whole new part if you want to sing the "Messiah",
if you get my drift.  Then I hop right back out, because Robert, with
that uncanny sixth sense some children have -- you cannot teach it;
they either have it or they don't -- has chosen exactly that moment to
flush one of the toilets.  Perhaps several of them.
                -- Dave Barry, "Saving Face"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3282 of 3566

What I tell you three times is true.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3283 of 3566

"What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-
sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up
with a terrifically witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always
came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at
parties.
                -- Dave Barry, "$#$
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3284 of 3566

#^
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3285 of 3566

!^
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3286 of 3566

&@
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3287 of 3566

@!"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3288 of 3566

What I want is all of the power and none of the responsibility.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3289 of 3566

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?  In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.
                -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3290 of 3566

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?  Or what's
worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
                -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
« Prev Random Freebsd Fortunes   Next »
« Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30  31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  42  43  44  45  46  47  48  49  50  51  52  53  54  55  56  57  58  59  60  61  62  63  64  65  66  67  68  69  70  71  72  73  74  75  76  77  78  79  80  81  82  83  84  85  86  87  88  89  90  91  92  93  94  95  96  97  98  99  100  101  102  103  104  105  106  107  108  109  110  111  112  113  114  115  116  117  118  119  120  121  122  123  124  125  126  127  128  129  130  131  132  133  134  135  136  137  138  139  140  141  142  143  144  145  146  147  148  149  150  151  152  153  154  155  156  157  158  159  160  161  162  163  164  165  166  167  168  169  170  171  172  173  174  175  176  177  178  179  180  181  182  183  184  185  186  187  188  189  190  191  192  193  194  195  196  197  198  199  200  201  202  203  204  205  206  207  208  209  210  211  212  213  214  215  216  217  218  219  220  221  222  223  224  225  226  227  228  229  230  231  232  233  234  235  236  237  238  239  240  241  242  243  244  245  246  247  248  249  250  251  252  253  254  255  256  257  258  259  260  261  262  263  264  265  266  267  268  269  270  271  272  273  274  275  276  277  278  279  280  281  282  283  284  285  286  287  288  289  290  291  292  293  294  295  296  297  298  299  300  301  302  303  304  305  306  307  308  309  310  311  312  313  314  315  316  317  318  319  320  321  322  323  324  325  326  327  328  329  330  331  332  333  334  335  336  337  338  339  340  341  342  343  344  345  346  347  348  349  350  351  352  353  354  355  356  357  Next »
Search [help]

About  |  Contact Us  |  Terms of Use  |  Privacy & Disclosure
FreeBsd Quotes  |  Linux Quotes