Freebsd Fortunes

Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell
all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.

Politician, n.:
        An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of
organized society is reared.  When he wriggles, he mistakes the
agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.  As compared
with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Politician, n.:
        From the Greek "poly" ("many") and the French "tete" ("head" or
"face," as in "tete-a-tete": head to head or face to face).  Hence
"polytetien", a person of two or more faces.
                -- Martin Pitt

Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even
where there is no river.
                -- Nikita Khrushchev

Politics is like coaching a football team.  you have to be smart enough
to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.

Polymer physicists are into chains.

Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the
Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866.  The
white smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before
it dawned on the assembled multitudes in St. Peter's Square that his
name had hilarious possibilities.  The crowds fell about, helpless with
laughter, singing
        Half a pound of tuppenny rice
        Half a pound of treacle
        That's the way the chimney smokes
        Pope Goestheveezl
The square was finally cleared by armed carabineri with tears of
laughter streaming down their faces.  The event set a record for
hilarious civic functions, smashing the previous record set when Baron
Hans Neizant B"ompzidaize was elected Landburgher of K"oln in 1653.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

Portable, adj.:
        Survives system reboot.

Positive, adj.:
        Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.