Freebsd Fortunes

Mitchell's Law of Committees:
        Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are
held to discuss it.

MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed)

  Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie        36 RITZ Crackers
2 cups water                             2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons cream of tartar              2 tablespoons lemon juice
  Grated rind of one lemon                 Butter or margarine
  Cinnamon

Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate.  Break
RITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate.  Combine water, sugar
and cream of tartar in saucepan, boil gently for 15 minutes.  Add lemon
juice and rind.  Cool.  Pour this syrup over Crackers, dot generously
with butter or margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon.  Cover with top
crust.  Trim and flute edges together.  Cut slits in top crust to let
steam escape.  Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust
is crisp and golden.  Serve warm.  Cut into 6 to 8 slices.
                -- Found lurking on a Ritz Crackers box

Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.

Mohandas K. Gandhi often changed his mind publicly.  An aide once asked
him how he could so freely contradict this week what he had said just
last week.  The great man replied that it was because this week he knew
better.

Molecule, n.:
        The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter.  It is distinguished
from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a
closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of
matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the
atom in that it is an ion ...
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis:
        If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented
it wasn't worth doing.

Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life.

Monday, n.:
        In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots