Freebsd Fortunes

A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets
people's attention.

"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to
admit, let alone discuss with prospective clients.  Still, the fact
remains that there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one
reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell.  It
is for this group of beings that the magician learns the subtleties of
using indirect spells.  It also does no harm, in dealing with these
matters, to carry a large club near your person at all times."
                -- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe
in God.

A.A.A.A.A.:
        An organization for drunks who drive

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!
You brute!  Knock before entering a ladies room!

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

"About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the
ends."
                -- Herbert Hoover

Absence makes the heart go wander.

Absent, adj.:
        Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed;
slandered.

Absentee, n.:
        A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove
himself from the sphere of exaction.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"