Freebsd Fortunes

The Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen's
outfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by
mistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club.  Once
tied around its victim's neck, it strangles him gently and then claims
the insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

"The pyramid is opening!"
"Which one?"
"The one with the ever-widening hole in it!"
                -- Firesign Theater, "How Can You Be In Two Places At
                   Once When You're Not Anywhere At All"

The qotc (quote of the con) was Liz's:
        "My brain is paged out to my liver"

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president?  What is
it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television,
that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of
industrial waste?
                -- Dave Barry, "On Presidential Politics"

The rain it raineth on the just
        And also on the unjust fella,
But chiefly on the just, because
        The unjust steals the just's umbrella.

The reader this message encounters not failing to understand is
cursed.

The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.

The reason it's called "Grape Nuts" is that it contains "dextrose",
which is also sometimes called "grape sugar", and also because "Grape
Nuts" is catchier, in terms of marketing, than "A Cross Between Gerbil
Food and Gravel", which is what it tastes like.
                -- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"

The reason we come up with new versions is not to fix bugs.  It's
absolutely not.
                        -- Bill Gates

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.
                -- George Bernard Shaw