Freebsd Fortunes

"I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital.  On the other
hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out."

I don't want to alarm anybody, but there is an excellent chance that
the Earth will be destroyed in the next several days.  Congress is
thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists
broadcast signals to alien beings.  This would be a large mistake.
Alien beings have nuclear blaster death cannons.  You cannot cut off
their federal programs as if they were merely poor people ...
                -- Davy Barry, "THE ALIENS ARE COMING, THE ALIENS ARE
                   COMING!"

I doubt, therefore I might be.

"I dread success.  To have succeeded is to have finished one's business
on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment
he has succeeded in his courtship.  I like a state of continual
becoming, with a goal in front and not behind."
                -- George Bernard Shaw

"I drink to make other people interesting."
                -- George Jean Nathan

I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.

I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the
accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service.  For
the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that
can't be measured in monetary terms.

Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to have
that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came by
subway."  Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot should
someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly
understand his long delay.

"I found out why my car was humming.  It had forgotten the words."

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very
reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."
                -- Gotama Buddha

I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex.  It was the most *horrifying* 20
minutes of my life!