Freebsd Fortunes

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.  I hope
they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
                -- Will Rogers

I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,
I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.
Bernoulli would have been content to die
Had he but known such a-squared cos 2(phi)!
                -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

I sent a letter to the fish,
I told them, "This is what I wish."
The little fishes of the sea,
They sent an answer back to me.
The little fishes' answer was
"We cannot do it, sir, because ..."
I sent a letter back to say
It would be better to obey.
But someone came to me and said
"The little fishes are in bed."
I said to him, and I said it plain
"Then you must wake them up again."
I said it very loud and clear,
I went and shouted in his ear.
But he was very stiff and proud,
He said "You needn't shout so loud."
And he was very proud and stiff,
He said "I'll go and wake them if ..."
I took a kettle from the shelf,
I went to wake them up myself.
But when I found the door was locked
I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked,
And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, But ...

        "Is that all?" asked Alice.
        "That is all." said Humpty Dumpty. "Goodbye."
                -- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"

"I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck."
                -- Graffito in Los Angeles

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.  I got a full
house and four people died."
                -- Steven Wright

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.  Mother took me to
see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
                -- Shirley Temple

I suggest you locate your hot tub outside your house, so it won't do
too much damage if it catches fire or explodes.  First you decide which
direction your hot tub should face for maximum solar energy.  After
much trial and error, I have found that the best direction for a hot
tub to face is up.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"

"I think it is true for all n. I was just playing it safe with n >= 3
because I couldn't remember the proof."
                -- Baker, Pure Math 351a

"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick
and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this
country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people
in this country are fed up with being sick and tired.  I'm certainly
not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.
                -- Monty Python