Freebsd Fortunes

H. L. Mencken suffers from the hallucination that he is H. L.
Mencken -- there is no cure for a disease of that magnitude.
                -- Maxwell Bodenheim

H. L. Mencken's Law:
        Those who can -- do.
        Those who can't -- teach.

Martin's Extension:
        Those who cannot teach -- administrate.

Hacker's Law:
        The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a
nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.

Hacking's just another word for nothing left to kludge.

Hail to the sun god
He sure is a fun god
Ra!  Ra!  Ra!

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side?  And hain't that a big
enough majority in any town?
                -- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"

Half Moon tonight.  (At least it's better than no Moon at all.)

Half-done:
        This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still
crunchy, light green, yet full of garlic flavor.  The difference
between this and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like
the difference between life and death.
        You may find it difficult to find a good half-done kosher dill
there in Seattle, so what you should do is take a cab out to the
airport, fly to New York, take the JFK Express to Jay Street-Borough
Hall, transfer to an uptown F, get off at East Broadway, walk north on
Essex (along the park), make your first left onto Hester Street, walk
about fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop.  Say to the
man, "Let me have a nice half-done."
        Worth the trouble, wasn't it?
                -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

Hall's Laws of Politics:
        (1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending.
        (2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want something
            fixed.
        (3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend
            military spending, and conservatives social spending in
            their own districts).

Hand, n.:
        A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and
commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"