Freebsd Fortunes

I am a PC technician - however, this has unfortunately caused my
computer to be running Win98.
                -- seen on a FreeBSD mailing-list

"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder
have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's
reign.  My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat.  Better go
buy some more."
                -- timw@zeb.USWest.COM

"I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person,
of pre-Adamite ancestral descent.  You will understand this when I tell
you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial
atomic globule.  Consequently, my family pride is something
inconceivable.  I can't help it.  I was born sneering."
                -- Pooh-Bah, "The Mikado", Gilbert & Sullivan

I am more bored than you could ever possibly be.  Go back to work.

"I am not an Economist.  I am an honest man!"
                -- Paul McCracken

"I am not now, and never have been, a girlfriend of Henry Kissinger."
                -- Gloria Steinem

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the demigodic party.
                -- Dennis Ritchie

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
                -- English Professor

"I am ready to meet my Maker.  Whether my Maker is prepared for the
great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
                -- Winston Churchill

"I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."
                -- English Professor, Ohio University