Freebsd Fortunes

He's the kind of guy, that, well, if you were ever in a jam he'd be
there ... with two slices of bread and some chunky peanut butter.

"He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..."

Heuristics are bug ridden by definition.  If they didn't have bugs,
then they'd be algorithms.

"Hey!  Who took the cork off my lunch??!"
                -- W. C. Fields

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet.
As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of
equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney.
Do you have a car or a job?  Do you ever walk around?  If so, you
probably have the makings of an excellent legal case.  Although of
course every case is different, I would definitely say that based on my
experience and training, there's no reason why you shouldn't come out
of this thing with at least a cabin cruiser.

"Remember, at the Preston A. Mantis Consumers Retail Law Outlet, our
motto is:  'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'"
                -- Dave Barry, "Pain and Suffering"

Hi there!  This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.

Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich.
Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt,     Here lies a man with sundry flaws
Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt.     And numerous Sins upon his head;
                                        We buried him today because
                                        As far as we can tell, he's dead.
                -- PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty
                   Sue Bach and written by the local doggerel catcher;
                   "The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach", Peter
                   Schickele

Higgeldy Piggeldy,
Hamlet of Elsinore
Ruffled the critics by
Dropping this bomb:
"Phooey on Freud and his
Psychoanalysis --
Oedipus, Shmoedipus,
I just love Mom."

Hindsight is an exact science.

Hippogriff, n.:
        An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.
The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle.
The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which
is two dollars and fifty cents in gold.  The study of zoology is full
of surprises.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"