Freebsd Fortunes

Sorry, no fortune this time.

Space is big.  You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-
bogglingly big it is.  I mean, you may think it's a long way down the
road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
                -- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."
                -- Samuel Goldwyn

Spark's Sixth Rule for Managers:
        If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as
if he had lost his senses.  When he looks down, paraphrase the question
back at him.

Speak roughly to your little boy,
        And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy
        Because he knows it teases.

        Wow!  wow!  wow!

I speak severely to my boy,
        And beat him when he sneezes:
For he can thoroughly enjoy
        The pepper when he pleases!

        Wow!  wow!  wow!
                -- Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland"

Speak roughly to your little VAX,
        And boot it when it crashes;
It knows that one cannot relax
        Because the paging thrashes!

                Wow!  Wow!  Wow!

I speak severely to my VAX,
        And boot it when it crashes;
In spite of all my favorite hacks
        My jobs it always thrashes!

                Wow!  Wow!  Wow!

Speak softly and carry a +6 two-handed sword.

Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
                -- Dave Millman

Speaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies of PL/I, I am
sure that only Real Men could have written such a machine-hogging,
cycle-grabbing, all-encompassing monster.  Allocate an array and free
the middle third?  Sure!  Why not?  Multiply a character string times a
bit string and assign the result to a float decimal?  Go ahead!  Free a
controlled variable procedure parameter and reallocate it before
passing it back?  Overlay three different types of variable on the same
memory location?  Anything you say!  Write a recursive macro?  Well,
no, but Real Men use rescan.  How could a language so obviously
designed and written by Real Men not be intended for Real Man use?

Speaking of Godzilla and other things that convey horror:

        With a purposeful grimace and a Mongo-like flair
        He throws the spinning disk drives in the air!
        And he picks up a Vax and he throws it back down
        As he wades through the lab making terrible sounds!
        Helpless users with projects due
        Scream "My God!" as he stomps on the tape drives, too!

        Oh, no!  He says Unix runs too slow!  Go, go, DECzilla!
        Oh, yes!  He's gonna bring up VMS!  Go, go, DECzilla!"

* VMS is a trademark of Digital Equipment Corporation
* DECzilla is a trademark of Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of Death, Inc.
                -- Curtis Jackson