Freebsd Fortunes

Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you
just how busy they are.

Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what,
exactly, make people laugh.  That's why they were called "wise men."
All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with
spears, and the wise men were back in the cave saying: "How about:
Would you please take my wife?  No.  How about: Here is my wife, please
take her right now.  No How about:  Would you like to take something?
My wife is available.  No.  How about ..."
                -- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"

Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.

Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.

Every four seconds a woman has a baby.  Our problem is to find this
woman and stop her.

"Every group has a couple of experts.  And every group has at least one
idiot.  Thus are balance and harmony (and discord) maintained.  It's
sometimes hard to remember this in the bulk of the flamewars that all
of the hassle and pain is generally caused by one or two
highly-motivated, caustic twits."
                -- Chuq Von Rospach, about Usenet

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not
fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.  This world in arms is not
spending money alone.  It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.  This is not a way
of life at all in any true sense.  Under the clouds of war, it is
humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
                -- Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953

Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):

Horses have an even number of legs.  Behind they have two legs, and in
front they have fore-legs.  This makes six legs, which is certainly an
odd number of legs for a horse.  But the only number that is both even
and odd is infinity.  Therefore, horses have an infinite number of
legs.  Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,
there is a horse that has a finite number of legs.  But that is a horse
of another color, and by the [above] lemma ["All horses are the same
color"], that does not exist.

Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.
                -- Frank Moore Colby

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.