Freebsd Fortunes

"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo
tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"
                -- Reuben Flagg

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before
the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."
                -- Vine Deloria, Jr.

When does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask?  Well, last year, I
think it was a Tuesday.

When God endowed human beings with brains, He did not intend to
guarantee them.

"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great
parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if
I'm leaving."
                -- Steven Wright

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a
year.  I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire
winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
                -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"

When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young
ladies, and, of course, the goat.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.  Now
I'm beginning to believe it.
                -- Clarence Darrow

When I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, "Daddy, will you
take me to the zoo?" He answered, "If the zoo wants you let them come
and get you."
                -- Jerry Lewis

"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any
firearms with me.  I said, `Well, what do you need?'"
                -- Steven Wright