Freebsd Fortunes

You can't start worrying about what's going to happen.  You get spastic
enough worrying about what's happening now.
                -- Lauren Bacall

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."
                -- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and
                   Over and Over"

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they
don't."
                -- Dagwood Bumstead

You could get a new lease on life -- if only you didn't need the first
and last month in advance.

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable
doubt.
                -- Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict

You do not have mail.

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
                -- J. D. Salinger

You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting
needles.
                -- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form.
The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified",
which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears
tax-preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last
names.  Here's the complete text:

        "(1) How much did you make?  (AMOUNT)
        "(2) How much did we here at the government take out?  (AMOUNT)
        "(3) Hey!  Sounds like we took too much!  So we're going to
             send an official government check for (ONE-FIFTEENTH OF
             THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME)
             household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way
             you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST
             NAME), that it pays to file the short form!"

The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your
money.  So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long
form.
                -- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"

You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.