Freebsd Fortunes

Q:  How many DEC repairmen does it take to fix a flat?
A:  Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.

Q:  How many DEC repairmen does it take to fix a flat?
A:  Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.

Q:  How long does it take?
A:  It's indeterminate.  It will depend upon how many flats they've
    brought with them.

Q:  What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A:  They replace your generator.

Q:  How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  Two.  One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb
    itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective
    reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a
    maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

Q:  How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light bulb
    in San Francisco?
A:  Both of them.

Q:  How many IBM cpu's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A:  33.  1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.

Q:  How many IBM CPU's does it take to execute a job?
A:  Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.

Q:  How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
    Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of
    the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20

    of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences
    of non-blank characters separated by blanks".

Q:  How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  Three.  One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
    light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government
    plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer
    prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb
    assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

Q:  How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  One and a half.