Freebsd Fortunes

Q:  How many IBM CPU's does it take to execute a job?
A:  Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.

Q:  How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
    Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of
    the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20

    of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences
    of non-blank characters separated by blanks".

Q:  How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  Three.  One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
    light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government
    plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer
    prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb
    assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

Q:  How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  One and a half.

Q:  How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  One.  He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem
    to the earlier joke.

Q:  How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  Three.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those
    Californians trying to share the experience.

Q:  How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  Two.  One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
    with brightly colored machine tools.

Q:  How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  None.  The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out
    of the way.

Q:  What's a light-year?
A:  One-third less calories than a regular year.