Freebsd Fortunes

Telephone, n.:
        An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the
advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Tell me, O Octopus, I begs,
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I'd call me us.
                -- Ogden Nash

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop
writing.
                -- R. Geis

"Terence, this is stupid stuff:
You eat your victuals fast enough;
There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear,
To see the rate you drink your beer.
But oh, good Lord, the verse you make,
It gives a chap the belly-ache.
The cow, the old cow, she is dead;
It sleeps well the horned head:
We poor lads, 'tis our turn now
To hear such tunes as killed the cow.
Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme
Your friends to death before their time.
Moping, melancholy mad:
Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad."
                -- A. E. Housman

"Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a
surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one
hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other
hand were unwilling to risk offending God's grandmother."
                -- Len Cool, "American Pie"

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D.  He was a
pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city
until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian .... To him is
ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia absurdum est (I believe
because it is absurd).  This does not altogether accord with historical
fact, for he merely said:

        "And the Son of God died, which is immediately credible because
        it is absurd.  And buried he rose again, which is certain
        because it is impossible."

Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of
philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it.
                -- C. G. Jung, in Psychological Types

(Tertullian was one of the founders of the Catholic Church).

Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.

Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.

"Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even
one which cannot be justified on any other grounds."
                -- J. Finnegan, USC.

Thank goodness modern convenience is a thing of the remote future.
                -- Pogo, by Walt Kelly