Freebsd Fortunes

"We don't care.  We don't have to.  We're the Phone Company."

We don't know who discovered water, but we're certain it wasn't a
fish.

We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the
hardware, but we can *see* the blinking lights!

We gave you an atomic bomb, what do you want, mermaids?
                -- I. I. Rabi to the Atomic Energy Commission

"We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an
hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down
mill, and when we came home our Dad would kill us, and dance about on
our grave singing Haleleuia ..."
                -- Monty Python

We have met the enemy, and he is us.
                -- Walt Kelly

We have only two things to worry about:  That things will never get
back to normal, and that they already have.

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
hands for masturbation."
                -- Lily Tomlin

We have the flu.  I don't know if this particular strain has an
official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death
Flu".  You may have had it yourself.  The main symptom is that you wish
you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that
said "ELECTROCUTION".

Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a) your
teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength.  Midway through the brushing
process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a
couple of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways
out of your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste
stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom
floor, which is how the police would find you.

You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
                -- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"

We may hope that machines will eventually compete with men in all
purely intellectual fields.  But which are the best ones to start
with?  Many people think that a very abstract activity, like the
playing of chess, would be best.  It can also be maintained that it is
best to provide the machine with the best sense organs that money can
buy, and then teach it to understand and speak English.
                -- Alan M. Turing