Freebsd Fortunes

Garbage In -- Gospel Out.

Garter, n.:
        An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her
stockings and desolating the country.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Gauls!  We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall
on our heads tomorrow.  But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!
                -- Adventures of Asterix.

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep".

        Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound
than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"?  Listen to the difference:
        "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling."
Obvious, isn't it?
        Clearly the best thing you can do for you children is to start
speaking Yiddish right now and never speak another word of English as
long as you live.  This will, of course, entail teaching Yiddish to all
your friends, business associates, the people at the supermarket, and
so on, but that's just the point.  It has to start with committed
individuals and then grow ...
        Some minor adjustments will have to be made, of course: those
signs written in what look like Yiddish letters won't be funny when
everything is written in Yiddish.  And we'll have to start driving on
the left side of the road so we won't be reading the street signs
backwards.  But is that too high a price to pay for world peace?  I
think not, my friend, I think not.
                -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"

"Gee, Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore."

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
        You are a quick and intelligent thinker.  People like you
because you are bisexual.  However, you are inclined to expect too much
for too little.  This means you are cheap.  Geminis are known for
committing incest.

GEMINI (May 21 to Jun. 20)
        Good news and bad news highlighted.  Enjoy the good news while
you can; the bad news will make you forget it.  You will enjoy praise
and respect from those around you; everybody loves a sucker.  A short
trip is in the stars, possibly to the men's room.

Genderplex, n.:
        The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and
tortoises).
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why
you should.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus
handicapped.
                -- Elbert Hubbard