Freebsd Fortunes

"I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV."

"I'd love to go out with you, but the last time I went out, I never
came back."

"I'd love to go out with you, but the man on television told me to stay
tuned."

"I'd love to go out with you, but there are important world issues that
need worrying about."

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box
of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like
solitary confinement.

Idiot Box, n.:
        The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Idiot, n.:
        A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law.
                -- Roy Santoro