Freebsd Fortunes

If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of
arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the
physical world.  One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker
entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.
                -- Vannevar Bush

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied
harder.
                -- Pope John Paul I

"If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem."
                -- C. Durance, Computer Science 234

If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it.
                -- Stanley Garn

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
                -- Norm Schryer

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to
get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude.
See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving
the natural method of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting
that you shall learn what you have no taste or capacity for.  The
college, which should be a place of delightful labor, is made odious
and unhealthy, and the young men are tempted to frivolous amusements to
rally their jaded spirits.  I would have the studies elective.
Scholarship is to be created not by compulsion, but by awakening a pure
interest in knowledge.  The wise instructor accomplishes this by
opening to his pupils precisely the attractions the study has for
himself.  The marking is a system for schools, not for the college; for
boys, not for men; and it is an ungracious work to put on a professor.
                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for
me!"
                -- "Ma" Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances
are 50-50 it will.

If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down.  If
the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down.  If the
bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will
exceed all expectations.
                -- Reverend Chichester

If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.